Goals to Go

When you’re a student of successful living, you don’t have to go far for your next lesson. The next time you’re at a shopping mall, just follow your nose. After you’ve passed Best Buy, three cart vendors who sell iPhone accessories, and a napping Security Guard, you’ll reach that bastion of high price, low quality eats: the Food Court.

Each Food Court I visit presents an intriguing array of choices. There’s always a McDonalds or a Burger King (sometimes both). These chains don’t even make you say the name of the food you’d like. You can just say “Number 4”, so as to minimize any amount of human contact you’ll have with the heavily pierced High Schooler who’s about to screw up your order.

Perhaps you’re the kind of person who’d like to host a mini World’s Fair in your mouth. Try a bit of international flair by ordering the sweet and sour let’s call it pork from Panda Something. I’ve also heard the falafel balls at Shawarma Sam’s are quite tasty. The less adventurous can always choose a grinder, hoagie, hero, or sub from the regional sandwich shop. Take a quick look around and note the choices you have.

Now it’s time for the lesson. While you’re considering your options, take a broader perspective and think about your overall selection process. What considerations are influencing your meal choice?

Some examples may include:

• I’m in a hurry. I need something fast and where the line is short.
• I’m health conscious. I need a calorie-friendly option.
• I work at the mall. I’d rather eat fiberglass insulation rather than any of these again.
• I’m on a budget. I need something affordable.
• I had Italian for dinner last night. That one’s out.
• I want something that doesn’t suck. I need a high quality option. (We’re leaving.)

The very act of consciously and explicitly considering your strategic thinking may be a Food Court first. Most of the time, we go by gut (no pun intended) and are basically on autopilot when it comes to making this type of a choice. We consider what we want to eat―but only so much―and then we’re off again.

The exercise of consciously considering your decision process translates very well to other parts of your life. The reason is that all human behavior is goal-oriented. It’s just that many of those goals are selected at a level somewhere between autopilot (“digest falafel”) and subconscious (“play Angry Birds because I’m bored and avoiding the real world”).

If you’re a number cruncher, think about the week that was. How much time (in hours) did you spend on your most important personal goals this week? These would be the goals are so important to you that you’ve written them down and have developed at least a loose plan to achieve them. For many of us, that figure’s about as small as the number of restaurants that passed health inspection on their first attempt.

The good news is that the number itself isn’t as important as the realization that next week’s number can be even better! By bringing conscious choice to the forefront, you’re in a much better position to accurately assess your options and your activities. You can choose to pursue constructive activities and not those that simply kick the can a bit further down the road to “My Best Self”.

Choose to pursue activities that support your personal goals and before you know it, you’ll be awash in achievement. Just be sure to wipe off that bit of duck sauce before you leave the table.

Plunge-worthy

As a long-time Cape Codder, I’ve grown accustomed to packing up my family and heading to the beach. What made yesterday’s excursion a bit unusual was that the January temperature was a balmy 35 degrees Fahrenheit.

It was New Year’s Day, and I was determined to flip the calendar in an emphatic fashion. This may explain how I found myself at the beach on a cool winter day wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks and staring out at icy ocean waves. There was a nip in the air. (Two, in fact.) The sand that scorches my overly-sensitive feet every summer was now freezing them into numb, painful blocks.

I was well aware of the “Polar Plunge” – a sensational event where people of questionable judgment head to the water and immerse themselves with an icy dunk. It always seemed like fun, but I’d never actually tried it myself. I’m not about to let 2012 be a year of “what might have been” when it holds so much potential to be a year of “what got done”. I had to plunge.

Since earning the title of “Father of the Year” is not one of my 2012 goals, I issued my icy challenge to my three unfortunate children. My twelve year-old daughter and ten year-old son answered the call. My youngest daughter – clearly the brains of the operation – declined instantly. Fortunately, our faithful chocolate lab pup happily took her place.

It was time. I let out a shriek that was half adrenaline and half fear. “Let’s go!” We made a beeline for the water. The rule was simple: You had to go all in. This isn’t a year of dipping in a toe or wading in up to your waist and calling it a day. This is 2012. It’s time for us to make our stand.

I bounded into the water and dove in headfirst. A chilly rush of excitement and pain seared my brain. I attempted a stroke or two, but my normally poor aquatic skills had become even more inept. I stood up in the shallow water and threw my arms up in triumph. I felt alive. I felt renewed. I felt frozen.

I huddled with my chilly children in celebration. We toweled off and put on warm dry clothes. Our pooch went back in the icy water 10 more times, thus proving that it’s impossible to experience brain freeze when you in fact have no brain.

The adventure only lasted an instant, but the New Year was officially off with a brrrr.

This brings us to a much more important subject: Your 2012. What are you going to do to send yourself a clear message that it’s time to get to work on your goals? You have the opportunity to draw a figurative line in the sand that says, “I have a whole year to accomplish some really great things – it starts now!”

Thankfully, you don’t have to expose yourself to hypothermia to get the party started. (Exposing yourself is entirely optional in 2012.) The key is to make the mental leap to a constructive, determined mindset. You can accomplish some really amazing things in a year. Don’t let a moment of it slip away, never to return.

I want you to have a fantastic 2012. I want you to dream big dreams and set big goals for yourself. This year, I want you to be optimistic and inspired and confident and nervous and consumed and brave and energized and determined. I want you to be at your best – nothing less.

As always, you’re welcome to share your inspiring 2012 kickoff ideas, dreams, goals, or challenges with me at anytime at mattyp@goalsgonewild at facebook.com/goalsgonewild or by tweeting me @MattyPhD. We’re all in this together.

I wish you success in this New Year, and thanks so much for letting me be a small part of it!

Excuses, Excuses

Tufts nailed it with this commercial that shows how it's easier to make excuses for why we're not doing something than to actually following through. Hey, we've all been there. If you're having trouble gettin' it done:

1. Ask Why. Reflect on why you want to experience the benefit of the effort. Think of your better health, your shiny new job, or whatever it is that lies on the other side of your effort.
2. Ask Who. Think of other people who might benefit from your investment. If the gent in the video did exercise regularly, he'd likely come home with more energy and a better attitude, which she'd certainly appreciate. If you won't follow through for yourself, will you follow through for someone else?

As the late, great Jim Rohn once said, "Doing the right thing is easy. Doing the wrong thing is even easier."

What's in Your Wallet?

I can’t think of a worse combination than a rainstorm, rush hour, and Boston drivers. Even so, that little combo is exactly what flummoxed me the other day. It’s not that I don’t enjoy getting caught up on the latest bumper stickers. “Honk if you want to see my finger” may have been my fave. It’s just that after 2 1/2 hours of inching along, my nerves were shot, my eyes were tired, and the left side of my ample backside was sore.

When I finally arrived at my destination, I still had a Sleeping Booty. I reached back and immediately realized what had happened. I had spent my quality morning drive time sitting on an oversized wallet. Unfortunately, it wasn’t bulging with Benjamins. It was simply filled with gobs of stuff I had accumulated over the years.

Later that day, I hefted the leathery lump onto my desk. It towered some 3 inches high. I couldn’t just turn the other cheek. It was time to act.

I began sorting my wallet’s contents into three separate piles:

1. Keep. These were the essentials I didn’t want to leave home without. Examples: Driver’s license, ATM card, photo of Martha Quinn.
2. Hold. These were important items, but ones I didn’t need every day. Breaking these out on occasion would be fine. Examples: Credit card, frequent flyer cards, foreign currency, stamps.
3. Toss. These were items that had long since outlived their usefulness. Old receipts, a sandwich punch card from a restaurant that had gone out of business two years ago, photo of Nina Blackwood.

This purging process got me thinking about how easy it is for us to unconsciously accumulate needless things over the years. Lately, I’ve been thinking about time and how there never seems to be enough of it. Could I examine my regular habits and time expenditures in light of these same three buckets?

Indeed. A few quick findings from my life:

1. Keep. Exercising - I’ve been working out fairly regularly, and it feels great. I definitely want to continue to make time for heart and health.
2. Hold. Thinking about the future - I’m naturally wired to have a future orientation, but I’m also prone to spending too much time on what might be (good and bad). Better to spend a smaller amount of time dreaming and planning while maximizing the amount of time I spend in the here and now.
3. Toss. Frivolous web browsing - I find that the web’s greatest power – the hyperlink – is also its biggest pitfall. I’m too-easily distracted by a catchy photo or headline. These often lead me on a series of trivial pursuits. Trivial Pursuit, of course, having been created in 1979 in Montreal, Canada. (Damn!)

Carrying excess items in my wallet and in my daily routine both led to a minor pain in my butt. Fortunately, I found that a few minutes of reflection and a willingness to let go have restored a bit of order. Now my wallet is a bit leaner and meaner, and I’m more focused and effective as well. I just hope the changes I made last longer than my photo of Downtown Julie Brown.

Try it for yourself and see if you have similar results. Go ahead and reach for your wallet, handbag, or murse. You might be surprised what’s in there. I urge you to press on and do the work of thinking about other parts of your life and where you can toss things that are simply unnecessary.

You and I have big plans, so we have to travel light in order to reach our destination.

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Make a habit of tossing outdated behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes that aren’t consistent with the life you now want.

The Grate(ful) Escape

For the past week, I've been sending myself a daily email that contains three things for which I'm grateful. I don't do this because I need more email. (All set with credit score offers and discount Viagra, thanks.) No, I'm attempting to re-train my brain as suggested by happiness expert Shawn Achor (@shawnachor). I've been listening to his outstanding book The Happiness Advantage in which he shared a simple but powerful suggestion: make a point to acknowledge positive things around you, and you're more likely to notice even more of the positive things that already surround you more often. (Kind of like when I shaved my head and then started noticing all the other bald guys out there, but without the sobbing.)

If my Neanderthal email-based approach seems too "2010" for you, feel free to check out Catch.com's free I Journal app. Or go analog and jot down your Daily 3 in a real live paper journal. (They still make them. I Googled it.) The point is to take a moment every day (for me, first thing in the AM) and make a note of those big or small things you appreciate in life. It may sound simple, but after only a week, I feel that I've already begun to open up to the positive possibilities around me. Thanks to a recurring Google Calendar alert, I hope to stick with my happy new habit.

Want to give it a go for yourself? HMU (Mom, that means "hit me up") on the GGW Facebook Page and let's compare notes on our experiences. Best wishes for your advantageous happiness.